You just couldn't leave well enough alone, could you Disney? You couldn't just let something die a peaceful and quiet death for once in your life. If it wasn't The Little Mermaid in the 1980's, it was The Lion King in the 1990's. If it wasn't Toy Story, it's Lilo and Stitch. Now, we're all strapped in for the long haul. Never again will the dreammakers at Disney ever capture our innocence as filmgoers. Never again shall we be able to dream that Happily Ever After actually MEANT Happily Ever After. You couldn't heed my warning, and like Homer Simpson in The Simpsons Movie, you have to dump your silo of enchantment in the lake that's one more sequel away from exploding (Paul Blart Mall Cop 2 did enough damage alone), and making the world of Hollywood eternally beyond salvation. Now, you may as well cause the entire Middle East to Jihad the living crap out of the West when you make your inevitable remake of Aladdin.
I, like the rest of you, was not surprised in the slightest when I heard that the most successful animated film of all time was getting a sequel. It was inevitable. The only major box office of the post-Walt days that Disney hasn't given a sequel to is Tangled, with obvious reasons. When you leave the movie with Elsa still able to wield her powers, Anna and Kristoff becoming a couple and when you've whored poor Josh Gad out to the point where he'll NEVER be able to do any stand up ever again, how can't you make a sequel to Frozen?
And while I both leap for joy and cringe at the sheer thought of this announcement, I do have some reservations that I feel I must address. Lest we forget that blitzkrieg of nightmare inducing horror that was the direct to video Disney Sequels. They ruined our childhoods with their mere existence. All we wanted was a film as good as the original, but instead we got:
George Carlin as a weird monkey thing
Homer Simpson trying and failing to duplicate Robin Williams
Timon and Pumbaa crapping all over a good movie
The Beast being a dumb old stupid head on Christmas
Quasimodo getting his groove
Tod and Copper joining a band
Mulan risking the fate of China for her ideals
Ariel doing the EXACT same things her dad did that pissed her off to her own daughter
Winnie the Pooh becoming Emo
and many other childhood ruining things. For all that is innocent and pure in this universe, Disney, PLEASE DON'T MAKE ME RELIVE THIS! Just pretend these movies don't exist. Give all the people that worked on them a couple of hundred bucks for their inconvenience and make these films disappear as quickly as the Star Wars Christmas Special. When I go to buy Aladdin on Blu Ray this Fall, I don't want to have to watch kids curiously ask their parents about The Return of Jafar. Go on and give this film Rescuers Down Under effort. No, not even. John Lassetter, I speak directly to you now. You are the head of Disney Feature Animation. You have stood over the immense success of the Pixar films (and also Brave), and was able to capture our imagination when Disney was crapping on it. Give something like Frozen 2 the kind of story and effort it deserves. I'm talking Toy Story 2 effort! If this indeed HAS to happen like you say it does, then you at least owe me an honest effort, Disney!
Speaking to a fan of both my YouTube account and this site this weekend (who is also one of the biggest Frozen fanatics I've ever met) gave me a good notion that the fans of this film take if very seriously and will be super pissed if the sequel does tank worse than any of the aforementioned Disney Sequels. Here's an idea of what you can do with the plot to NOT have it suck:
Idea #1: The film begins with a prologue. Every winter for many years, a mysterious sorcerer named Calder would come down from his home near the North Mountain to collect the snowflakes that fell in Arendelle, which were rumored to be the most beautiful in all of Scandinavia. One day, while on his travels, he met and fell in love with a beautiful dancer who was performing for the greedy King of Arendelle. Using his powers to protect her, the sorcerer transformed her into a snowflake and took her with him to his fortress ("Insert Song Here"). Smitten with Calder, the young woman and he were wed in secret and enjoyed their life together, until the King brought an army to kill Calder. Calder transformed his wife back into a snowflake and kept her locked away, sealing them within the North Mountain. One of the suitors of the King's daughter finds the snowflake and brings it back to the princess. The King blesses a marriage between the two and on the first day of winter, their daughter Elsa is born. Calder comes in the night to look over the sleeping infant, vowing that he and his wife would be together once more. Cut to several years later, the people of Arendelle are enjoying the last few warm days of fall before the winter would come again. Despite her desire to relax and rekindle her relationship with Anna after the events of the first film, Elsa is being pressured by her advisers to marry a prince so that she may continue the line for the kingdom ("Insert Song Here"). Despite Elsa's misgivings, Anna plans an Autumnal Ball to commemorate Elsa's upcoming birthday, and manages to invite several potential suitors for Elsa's hand, including one of Prince Han's brothers. Desperate to keep to herself, Elsa disguises herself and runs away the night before the Ball, but runs into Kristoff, who had taken a job as a Lumberjack for the upcoming winter. Elsa confesses her fears to Kristoff, who reminded her of the consequences of her shutting herself away from the world the last time. Elsa agrees to go to the Ball on the condition that Kristoff would work up the courage to ask Anna to marry him. At the Ball, Elsa entertains many suitors, none of whom manage to woo her. But the Ball is interrupted by Calder, who kidnaps Elsa and brings her back to her fortress in the North Mountain. Anna and Kristoff set off to rescue Elsa from the clutches of the sorcerer.
Calder tells Elsa of her origins and that she is only powerful because of the enchanted snowflake that was passed down to Elsa at the time of her birth (Insert Song Here). Calder also explains that Elsa constructing this fortress was what awoke Calder from his sleep. He locks her away while he begins to look for a way to get the snowflake out of her. In her imprisonment, Elsa befriends a young man named Erik and his pet snow leopard named Snowball. Erik reveals himself to be Calder's son and that he is being locked up because of the reminder he is of his mother to the wizard.
Anna and Kristoff continue their way up the North Mountain, all while Kristoff is trying to propose to the princess. The two arrive at the home of the Rock Trolls, who warn them of Calder's power and how he is likely going to murder Elsa in the hopes that he can bring his wife back. Despite some urging from his friends (Insert Song Here), Kristoff is unable to get Anna's thoughts off of Elsa.
Erik, moved by Elsa's recounting of the previous films actions, is determined to free Elsa so she could be free from his father's demented grip. Erik first confronts his father, who tells his son that the only way he could bring the mother back was to kill Elsa. Erik forgoes his own opportunity at freedom and sets Elsa free (Insert Song Here). Enraged that Elsa was able to escape, Calder places a curse on his son, a curse that only Elsa could cure. Calder then goes off in pursuit of Elsa.
Elsa encounters Anna and Kristoff. Despite their reunion, Calder returns and tries to kill Elsa. Anna is struck by one of the sorcerer's bolts of magic, causing a poison to go through the princess. The sorcerer warns Elsa that there are only two cures for this kind of illness and that Erik too has been cursed by it and that Elsa must either brave the den of the Frost Dragons in the far north to retrieve the antidote, or sacrifice herself to save one of the two. Determined to rescue both Erik and Anna, Elsa and Kristoff take Sven, Olaf, and Snowball with them to the Frost Dragon's lair, not knowing that Calder had lied and that the antidote could only cure one of them (Insert Song Here). At the Frost Dragon's lair, Elsa is told by the head dragon that Calder has changed the curse on one of the victims so that only one of them could be saved and the other was likely to die. Elsa gives the antidote to Anna, curing her of the illness, which means that Calder's spell would kill Erik. The team hurries back to the Ice Palace.
Elsa confronts Calder and the two have a battle over the fate of Erik. Calder overpowers Elsa and prepares to kill her, but a weakened Erik takes the brunt of his father's wrath. Erik dies in Elsa's arms (Insert Reprise Here), causing an infuriated Elsa to turn and reprimand the sorcerer for his actions. The two argue briefly, but when Elsa reminds Erik that his wife was always inside of his son, the sorcerer sees the error of his ways and decides to give his life force to his son. Erik reawakens and says one final farewell to both his mother and father, who have been reunited in spirit. As the group departs from the Ice Palace, Elsa disassembles it and reforms it into a tribute to Calder and his love and to forever end her days of wanting the life of loneliness. Having received his father's scepter and his snowflake collection, Erik scatters the snowflakes in the air.
That winter, as Christmas time rolls along, a Christmas Ball is held to replace the Autumnal Ball. Snowball and Sven, who have a subplotted rivalry for most of the film, become friends. Anna teases Elsa and Erik by putting mistletoe above the two, which causes the two to share their first kiss. Finally working up the courage, Kristoff proposes to Anna and the two get engaged in front of their subjects.
After the end credits, Elsa and Anna are sitting down and enjoying their new found relationship, when Nick Fury shows up and tells the young Queen about the Avengers initiative...
One of the snowflakes Erik set out into the air flutters about in the air until it flies through a window and a skeletal hand reaches out and asks: "What's this?"
Or have I been watching too much MCU movies lately? Um...
Casting Ideas:
Calder the Sorcerer: Tom Hiddleston
Erik: Adam Jacobs or Daniel Ratcliffe
Songs?:
"Wings of an Angel"
"Royal Pain"
"Insert Name of Villain Song here"
"Tying the Knot"
"Home and Free"
"Mystic Wonders"
"Home and Free (Reprise)"
Please do not ask for lyrics, because I pretty much just pulled song titles out of thin air. I'm honestly surprised I haven't ripped off someone else's song yet...
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