To me, I'm split down the middle when it comes to this movie. It was exactly what I expected to see when I first heard about the Star Wars prequels, in more ways than one. We finally got to see all of the Jedi get wiped out by Stormtroopers, we got to see Anakin Skywalker get set on fire and put into the Darth Vader suit, and we finally got to see those stupid and pointless senators cheer and applaud Palpatine for completely circumventing their authority and create the Galactic Empire. But at the same time, we had to sit through more disgusting romance dialogue, more cringe worthy editing and camerawork, and several scenes of garbage flung onto the screen and made to look to the general public as special effects. And while the tone of the film is much more like a Star Wars film than either sequel prior to this one, it still flies all over the map. To me, the plot of this film should have been split over the three movies. But more on that later. On to the crap:
Plot: The galaxy is on the brink of total annihilation. The Confederacy sweeps into Coruscant and kidnaps Chancellor Palpatine, in the hopes of crippling Republic morale. The Jedi call upon Anakin and Obi-Wan to rescue him. After several battle scenes in both space and on General Grievous's flagship, Anakin and Obi-Wan arrive to rescue Palpatine, but are stopped by Count Dooku. After Obi-Wan is knocked out, Anakin gave into his anger and killed Dooku in cold blood, singlehandedly rescuing Obi-Wan and Palpatine. Grievous and the Separatists escape, and Palpatine tells the Jedi that the Senate will continue the war so long as Grievous (who is now the leader of the droid army now that Dooku is dead). Anakin and Padme reunite and Padme tells Anakin that she's pregnant. Anakin, though stunned and afraid, is still overjoyed at the thought of being a father.
That night, Anakin has a premonition about the future, seeing Padme die in childbirth. Anakin goes to Master Yoda, but gets the answer he expected ("Train yourself to let go of everything you fear to lose"). Then, Anakin is summoned to Palpatine's office, where he is appointed a personal representative to the Republic on the Jedi Council. The Council allows this, but blocks Anakin's mastery. Anakin does his usual bitching, until told to shut up.
Anakin later meets with Palpatine at the Opera House, where Palpatine tells Anakin about an ancient Sith Legend about being able to keep people alive through the dark side.
Obi-Wan leaves to hunt General Grievous, while Palpatine finally reveals to Anakin that he is the Sith Lord. Anakin reports this to the Council, who sets off to arrest him. You know the drill: Anakin betrays Jedi, becomes Darth Vader, slaughters children, clones kill Jedi, Palpatine creates Empire.
What's Bad?: The ultimate flaw with this film is our lack of ability to care about anything that happens to anyone in this series. No one cares about the suffering Anakin goes through in this movie outside of general pity. No one cared about Gollum in Lord of the Rings until we got to see his inner turmoil (I'll talk about that in the next segment). No one cared about Padme or Obi-Wan or the Jedi Order for that matter because outside of fanboys, we don't know or care about any of them outside of maybe Yoda.
I hate to bring up film novelizations of these films, but the novelization of Revenge of the Sith actually gives Anakin a legitimate reason to throw a hissy fit about not being named a Jedi Master. Anakin believes that there is a way to save Padme (prior to Palpatine storytime), but cannot access it because the information of those things is restricted to Jedi Masters only. So, when he hears that Palpatine is making him a Jedi Master, it doesn't make Anakin look like a dick when he's pleased about being a master and then pissy and whiny about not being a Master on the council's decision.
And I'm tired of hearing the same defense that Star Wars fanboys give him. That wouldn't the most evil person in the universe start out like a whiny kid? I'm pretty sure that's not how Palpatine started. Or Hitler. Or the Joker. Or M. Night Shyamalan for that matter. Or even George Lucas. And to top that off, it doesn't even work in the world that Lucas created. Anakin Skywalker was a great guy, and a good Jedi, who's fall to the Dark Side of the Force was a surprise and a shame. Hayden Christiansen plays Anakin like he was Darth Vader the whole of 2 MOVIES! That does not fly well by me.
And I've gone on and on about the horrible editing and camerawork in these films, along with the dreadful wooden acting, all the way to the crappy CGI effects, so I won't go too far into this this time around. But the CGI actually begins to overtake practicality in this film in a way that even I did not comprehend. George decided to overflow the screens with these epic visuals during Anakin and Obi-Wan's fight on Mustafar, that could have just as easily been shot near an active volcano on EARTH, with actual lava flowing down that doesn't look like neon colored Kool Aid. But George likes sitting in his chair and drinking his coffee while telling others to buttrape his greatest contribution to society outside of donating the money from the sale of LucasFilm to Disney.
What's Good?: In the first 20 or so minutes of this film, something happened. It felt like George was actually listening to the people who threatened him for his two absolute piles of shit that were the first two prequel films. It honestly felt like watching a Star Wars movie for the first time since watching the Original Trilogy (which I'm happy to say I own the non edited versions on DVD/ NO BLU RAY SHIT LIKE THAT FOR ME!). The action was fun, the banter between Anakin and Obi-Wan didn't seem forced to me, and the lightsaber duel between the Jedi and Count Dooku was awesome. It wasn't overblown like the Mustafar fight, and the choreography, while clunky at some times, is paced much better than their fight in Clones. All the way up to the scene where Anakin and Padme are talking about their love, the movie seemed like a Star Wars movie again. But of course, they have to talk. Why? Why not just mute them, or just do it instrumentally? Oh, right. You have to MAKE us care instead of allowing us to gradually come to care about these two assholes, right?
Then, of course, you have Ian McDiarmid as Palpatine, which may very well be the greatest thing in the history of things. He is so ridiculously hammy and over the top in this role, that it's impossible to not like him. He may be the only person who could have gotten away with saying all of this shit dialogue. Palpatine is also the only person in the entire freaking GALAXY who has a real goal he wants to accomplish and sets out to accomplish it. Everyone else is a cardboard cut out.
Then, you also have to look at the wise decisions Lucas made during this final film. People were sick of the fan service. We did not care or need to know that C-3PO was made by Anakin, nor did the bounty hunter you cloned in Attack of the Clones have to be a clone of Boba Fett's dad. So, when I first heard that George almost had a child version of Han Solo in this movie, I almost threw a brick at my TV. But thankfully, that, along with the decision to severely limit that fucking prick Jar Jar's role in this movie, and the love scenes cut down to their absolute minimum, Lucas at least tried to make sure that this turd wouldn't make people smash their heads into anything they could find.
Overall: Of all of the films I saw in 2005, from the good (The Chronicles of Narnia, Batman Begins, Madagascar, Thank You For Smoking, ), to the bad (Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, Racing Stripes, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, King Kong), to the UGLY (Chicken Little), I would say that Revenge of the Sith has a case to be both really good and REALLY AWFUL. But as it is, it's on the borders of both. Like a Disney film, the stuff that is good is really good, and like Twilight, the rest is absolute shit. It's a good film, but not enough to save the Prequel Trilogy from not sucking.
Final Grade: C
All I have to say is, thank god it's over and I can jump right into the Original Trilogy now.
I hate to bring up film novelizations of these films, but the novelization of Revenge of the Sith actually gives Anakin a legitimate reason to throw a hissy fit about not being named a Jedi Master. Anakin believes that there is a way to save Padme (prior to Palpatine storytime), but cannot access it because the information of those things is restricted to Jedi Masters only. So, when he hears that Palpatine is making him a Jedi Master, it doesn't make Anakin look like a dick when he's pleased about being a master and then pissy and whiny about not being a Master on the council's decision.
And I'm tired of hearing the same defense that Star Wars fanboys give him. That wouldn't the most evil person in the universe start out like a whiny kid? I'm pretty sure that's not how Palpatine started. Or Hitler. Or the Joker. Or M. Night Shyamalan for that matter. Or even George Lucas. And to top that off, it doesn't even work in the world that Lucas created. Anakin Skywalker was a great guy, and a good Jedi, who's fall to the Dark Side of the Force was a surprise and a shame. Hayden Christiansen plays Anakin like he was Darth Vader the whole of 2 MOVIES! That does not fly well by me.
And I've gone on and on about the horrible editing and camerawork in these films, along with the dreadful wooden acting, all the way to the crappy CGI effects, so I won't go too far into this this time around. But the CGI actually begins to overtake practicality in this film in a way that even I did not comprehend. George decided to overflow the screens with these epic visuals during Anakin and Obi-Wan's fight on Mustafar, that could have just as easily been shot near an active volcano on EARTH, with actual lava flowing down that doesn't look like neon colored Kool Aid. But George likes sitting in his chair and drinking his coffee while telling others to buttrape his greatest contribution to society outside of donating the money from the sale of LucasFilm to Disney.
What's Good?: In the first 20 or so minutes of this film, something happened. It felt like George was actually listening to the people who threatened him for his two absolute piles of shit that were the first two prequel films. It honestly felt like watching a Star Wars movie for the first time since watching the Original Trilogy (which I'm happy to say I own the non edited versions on DVD/ NO BLU RAY SHIT LIKE THAT FOR ME!). The action was fun, the banter between Anakin and Obi-Wan didn't seem forced to me, and the lightsaber duel between the Jedi and Count Dooku was awesome. It wasn't overblown like the Mustafar fight, and the choreography, while clunky at some times, is paced much better than their fight in Clones. All the way up to the scene where Anakin and Padme are talking about their love, the movie seemed like a Star Wars movie again. But of course, they have to talk. Why? Why not just mute them, or just do it instrumentally? Oh, right. You have to MAKE us care instead of allowing us to gradually come to care about these two assholes, right?
Then, of course, you have Ian McDiarmid as Palpatine, which may very well be the greatest thing in the history of things. He is so ridiculously hammy and over the top in this role, that it's impossible to not like him. He may be the only person who could have gotten away with saying all of this shit dialogue. Palpatine is also the only person in the entire freaking GALAXY who has a real goal he wants to accomplish and sets out to accomplish it. Everyone else is a cardboard cut out.
Then, you also have to look at the wise decisions Lucas made during this final film. People were sick of the fan service. We did not care or need to know that C-3PO was made by Anakin, nor did the bounty hunter you cloned in Attack of the Clones have to be a clone of Boba Fett's dad. So, when I first heard that George almost had a child version of Han Solo in this movie, I almost threw a brick at my TV. But thankfully, that, along with the decision to severely limit that fucking prick Jar Jar's role in this movie, and the love scenes cut down to their absolute minimum, Lucas at least tried to make sure that this turd wouldn't make people smash their heads into anything they could find.
Overall: Of all of the films I saw in 2005, from the good (The Chronicles of Narnia, Batman Begins, Madagascar, Thank You For Smoking, ), to the bad (Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, Racing Stripes, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, King Kong), to the UGLY (Chicken Little), I would say that Revenge of the Sith has a case to be both really good and REALLY AWFUL. But as it is, it's on the borders of both. Like a Disney film, the stuff that is good is really good, and like Twilight, the rest is absolute shit. It's a good film, but not enough to save the Prequel Trilogy from not sucking.
Final Grade: C
All I have to say is, thank god it's over and I can jump right into the Original Trilogy now.
Not likely, I depend on Revenge of the Sith as a definite improvement to the unforgiving prequels. Hayden Christensen gives me a proper performance without some of his mediocre dialogue and Ewan McGregor is doing his best impression of Alec Guinness so far.
ReplyDeleteTrust me, IT IS A HUGE IMPROVEMENT, but the stuff that was stupid was just too stupid for me to truly enjoy this movie. I mean, did you notice all of the simple steps the Jedi could have taken to stopping Palpatine?
DeleteMace Windu almost defeated him and he didn't see Anakin coming. That led him to his death in the hands of Palpatine. Also Yoda tries to defeat him also but he realised that he is too powerful to defeat.
DeleteThe Jedi should have realized who Sidious was when Dooku told Obi-Wan the sith were controlling the senate instead of just shrugging it off. I have no pity for any of the Jedi. Or if they had arrested Palpatine in public, he would have had to reveal himself. Why attack him in his private quarters with no witnesses?
DeleteThey must've gave the guards and advisors a mind trick or two up their sleeves. The Jedi already know when Palpatine is heavily guarded by security and therefore, has control of them.
DeleteI can't make assumptions on that stuff like that. Maybe it works for you, but when I come across a moment in a movie that baffles me like that, it's really hard for me to.
Delete