There has never been a film with so much hype around the time of it's release, only to fall absolutely flat on it's face like this one, with the exception of maybe Avatar. Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace may have been the most disappointing thing in the history of motion picture. There is so much wrong with this film that it's absolutely mind-boggling that George Lucas did not pull this film like he did the infamous Christmas Special. And the worst part, is that barring a mulligan from Disney, this film can never be undone and will be around haunting the Star Wars fans forever. What can be said about a film that is so universally hated and despised, that you cannot possibly find one good quality thing in it. Plot: There is a dispute over the taxation of trade routes. The greedy Trade Federation blockades the planet of Naboo and Supreme Chancellor Valorum (Terrence Stamp), dispatches Jedi Master Qui-Gon Jinn (Liam Neeson) and his apprentice Obi-Wan Kenobi (Ewan McGregor) to settle the matter. But the Trade Federation is under the control of the evil Darth Sidious, who plans to use the Trade Federation to invade the planet and create a crisis in the Galactic Senate. Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan head to Naboo to warn the Queen (Natalie Portman) of the impending invasion, encountering the gungan Jar Jar Binks.
After the heroes escape from the Trade Federation, they are forced to land on the planet Tatooine to replace a damaged hyperdrive on their ship. It is here that Qui-Gon comes across Anakin Skywalker, a boy with unique power in the Force. Qui Gon now has to juggle a rebellious and noble Queen, a youthful and impatient apprentice, a boy with untapped Force potential, and protecting the Galactic Republic from an ancient evil that the Jedi had long believed extinct.
What's Wrong?: There are so many things wrong with this film that I could sit here for three days talking about each solitary thing that is wrong with the film. But for the sake of both my sanity and your patience, I am only going to focus on the problems that are considered to be the worst aspects of what might be the most disappointing thing since the New York Mets.
The film's biggest fault is it's characters. No one in this film is likable and no one in this movie gives a crap about what's going on. Queen Amidala is static and boring with nothing but a dry and pre-Black Swan Natalie Portman. Jar Jar Binks may very well be the worst thing about this film, alongside the most annoying little kid in cinematic history.
But then you come across other faults, more importantly in the way of storytelling. The Original Trilogy had a main character that could learn things along with the audience. The Prequel Trilogy had no protagonist to speak of, or at least a likable one.
The first trilogy also had a villain that we didn't like. It's kind of like Saruman in The Lord of the Rings. While Darth Vader was indeed the villain that got the most screen time, the looming threat of the Emperor made Vader even more intimidating. In the Prequel films, we didn't get that primary villain that would make us despise Palpatine even more. And while a good majority of the people believe that Darth Maul, the awesome looking Sith Lord from this movie, should have been the main villain until Anakin became Darth Vader, I believe that Count Dooku from the second film should have been the main villain.
This film is at the core of why I hate "Chosen One" stories. Not only do they kill the mood and end our speculation about what's going on in the story. When the prophecy first arrived in Order of the Phoenix, I completely lost interest in the Harry Potter story. It also makes one character the be all and end all of the universe. As a writer, this is insulting. No one person is the reason life goes on in the universe. Especially not Anakin Skywalker. But more on him in the next review.
What's Good?: The only silver lining to The Phantom Menace is the only actor who is attempting to do something with the disgusting dialogue that incompetent hack George Lucas wrote. Liam Neeson gives Qui-Gon the most genuine performance of the entire Prequel Saga, and may very well be the only really good thing that ever came from this era of disaster.
Overall: George Lucas ruined what could have been a deep and though provoking tale about the rise and fall of a hero into a clumsily put together mosaic of horrid ideas, vomit inducing special effects, and really lazy imagery referring to things we knew about the first trilogy. And it only gets worse from here...
Final Grade: D+ (Liam Neeson saved this movie from getting an F)
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