Ranking the "Eight" Seasons of Total Drama

 It's been a very long time...my old friend...

For starters, I'd like to apologize for the intense lack of content for the year 2022.  To put it bluntly, this year has been utter hell for me.  I've had several very serious depressive episodes as well as two separate stints of everyone's favorite pandemic virus.  On top of that, I've had to endure family drama, my laptop literally offing itself and being unable to make consistent content for YouTube or this site.  I had several different things to write for here, but all of my drafts and files were written on my other laptop and the one I use now is a Chromebook.  For those of you unaware, Chromebooks may be slick, sleek and nice to use, they have several major drawbacks, including a constant need to be connected to the internet as well as automatically blocking any and all devices that aren't made by Google (IE, no flash drives or my Elgato Capture Card) could be read and thus, I was forced to do little more than work on my Crimson Fury story, which is available for reading on Fanfiction.net  

During my bouts with COVID, I revisited lots of shows I own on physical media or have access to via streaming services or the internet.  These shows include Star Trek: The Next Generation (a show I mean to make a post about), Yu-Gi-Oh! GX (already watch the original religiously), various Pokemon series, Frasier, Yellowstone and many more.  But one of the ones that has helped me most recently has been a friend of mine I haven't really thought about in a long time.  And wouldn't you know it, Total Drama is coming back.  

I haven't spoken about Total Drama since I made the "Fixing Total Drama All Stars" post many years ago, chiefly because of how terrible it was.  And it still is.  I've watched all eight (yes, eight) iterations of Total Drama since I've been sick and to be frank, it has been quite an experience.  The show that I still praise for it's creativity and it's parodying skills actually did the impossible by going on past an awful fifth season and made shows that were all at the very least entertaining.  And isn't that what we're looking for in a show, especially in this hellscape we call life?  

Eight seasons/shows of varying quality leading up to this new show are definitely a sight to behold.  And explaining how good/bad all of them are is a definite must for me to post on here.  Seeing as how I have no access to functional video editing things within my budget (paying for a lot of things at the moment, including the only car in the house as well as saving money for a new laptop and a trip to Disney in 2024), this place is the best place to go.  And boy do I have a lot to say about these shows.  Even the poopie one...

But first...

Total Dramarama

This one is just so...strange.  I mean...wow!  

Do you guys remember shows like Muppet Babies, Baby Looney Tunes or even something more recent like Camp Koral?  You know, where they make shows of adult characters into children to appeal to a younger demographic.  Well, Total Drama tried this route and...the show was a trip.  Basically speaking, Total Dramarama is a spinoff where many of the original Total Drama stars (and a few cameos from others including Jude from 6Teen of all things) are turned into toddlers that go to a Daycare Center run by Chef Hatchet and various bizarre scenarios that come from that.  

Sure some of the characters remain the same or are slightly diluted from their previous selves, like Duncan and Courtney being basically the same characters and Izzy basically being the toddler version of her whacked out self from the original show.  But the highlights of this show are the other characters they changed.  Gwen is no longer a wannabe Goth/Disney Princess and went straight up disturbed child with her personality.  Beth is absolutely 10x better than her original character, being basically a watered down version of Izzy in causing trouble either unintentionally or completely intentionally.  Cody is basically Eugene from Hey Arnold, in that he's the character that constantly gets dunked on and tormented by the others, especially Duncan.  Other Total Drama characters like Lightning, Sugar, Max and Ella make some appearances, but the primary focus is the original kids, even if some fall into the background (like Bridgette, Noah and Leshawna).  

The best part of this show is the chaotic scenarios they find themselves in.  Some are standard episodes like trying to figure out why Cody can't sleep during nap time or with the kids trying to get all of their confiscated toys back from Chef.  But then you get the totally bonkers ones, like the new teacher being a robot, Jude and Izzy going hyper on a Slushie drink, going to alternate universes and even Duncan doing everything he can to keep a certain children's music duo from performing (with a twist that is so funny I can't help but keep it from you to avoid spoiling it).  Sure, the zaniness may grate on people and I do find a bunch of clunker episodes throughout the bulk, but for what it's supposed to be, I can't help but give the show a chuckle in ways I only used to give to shows that I laughed at as a child, such as Spongebob or Rugrats.  

And now...the Main Attraction

7. Total Drama All-Stars

You all know this was going to be here.  And I've done more than my fair share of bashing this show over the years.  But suffice it to say, I will highlight some of the gross atrocities this show committed.  To briefly summarize, members of the Original Cast (Duncan, Courtney, Gwen, Lindsay, Alejandro, Heather and Sierra) join up with members from Season Four's Revenge of the Island (Scott, Jo, Lightning, Mike, Zoey, Cameron and Sam) in a bout of the best Total Drama had to offer.  Please note that popular favorites Cody, Owen, Noah, Dawn and Leshawna aren't involved in the show at all.

Should I start with how awfully the show was written?  I mean, I know the writers brought on board had no real connection to the previous Total Drama series, but seriously?  Did any of them even watch the few shows?  Courtney and Gwen are best friends?  Since when?  Not even in World Tour did they bond over much of anything apart from one episode, and they both barely qualified the other as "friend-ish" as both had strong feelings for Duncan.  But now the two both barely acknowledge Duncan?  Lindsay became flanderized to the point of being almost unrecognizable, Cameron and Sierra's plot points are insanely awkward and uncomfortable (did they really have nothing else for Sierra to do but obsess over someone besides Cody?), Scott once again lasts way too long in the game, I despised the entire plotline involving Mal taking over Mike's personalities and it really seemed like little more than a broken record of Total Drama's previous "hits" and I use quotes because Revenge of the Island is coming up soon.  

The positives of the show are basically Courtney's character not being completely ruined by the Gwen arc and remaining as cutthroat as she's always been and Zoey being the de facto protagonist of the show.  I even liked Duncan's arc of struggling between being a "bad boy" and a "goody two shoes", even if the ending seemed a bit forced.  Beyond that, there isn't much.  This show really felt like Total Drama was running on fumes and should have been put out of it's misery (which is oddly enough not the case considering the next two seasons).  This show was a mess and really either needed to be expanded upon with more episodes or scrapped altogether.  

6. Total Drama Revenge of the Island 

I do not like this show.  Not as much as I loathe All Stars, but this show is just not interesting to me.  The new cast of characters is not as engaging to me as the original cast (which makes sense considering they had three seasons to win me over) and many of the plots/subplots didn't really gel with me.  Jo and Lightning's interactions are funny, but they get old by the fifth time Lightning things Jo is a guy.  Mike and Zoey's relationship is cliche and obnoxious considering they delay the revelation of Mike's multiple personality disorder to the last moment.  Dawn was my favorite character (mostly because of how blunt she was about her interactions with characters), but she's gone from the show early.  Sam and Dakota have arguably the most believable romance on the show (the pudgy gaming nerd who is the only one fawning over the hot model character who lost all the attention she had).  Any character I haven't mentioned is just not a particularly interesting character.  And the whole toxic waste island idea was worn out basically by the sixth episode.  

Honestly, the best part of the show to me was all the interactions with the original cast, who would be randomly brought in to cameo in episodes.  Bridgette, DJ, Heather, Duncan, Lindsay and others all appear in various moments and steal the spotlight.  If the main characters are so vapid and blank that I can't even focus when they're on screen, why should I care about the rest?  

5. Total Drama Pahkitew Island 

People absolutely HATE this series...and I don't know why.  Sure, it has similar problems to the last two series (IE over the top characters and writing, ridiculous scenarios etc.), but this series was more like a fever dream or a Looney Tunes cartoon than a Total Drama series.  Tonally, it's completely out of left field, but that was what this series needed.  I mean, this show literally has parodies of Dr. Evil and Snow White.  What kids act like that?  To briefly explain, an entirely new cast of oddballs (Beardo the Beatboxer, Leonard the LARPer, Rodney the Farmboy, twin sisters Amy and Samey (Sammy), Ella the Songbird, Topher the Wannabe Host, Dave the Germaphobe, Scarlet the Genius, Max the Villain, Sugar the...Honey Boo Boo parody?, Jasmine the Aussie Amazon, Sky the Gymnast and Shaun the Zombie Fighter) all compete to win a million dollars on a completely new island that has a few...quirks...

This show is just pure chaos and I find nothing wrong with that.  I mean, they do so many tropes that other shows do and I can see a bit why people wouldn't like it, but I found this show glorious for what it changed.  I couldn't imagine another show like All Stars or Revenge, which is why this show is so mesmerizing.  Sure, the show has characters I do hate (Sky might be the worst human being on any of these shows and Dave isn't much better, which is probably why their interactions are the worst), but whenever one of the oddballs were on screen, I was strongly entertained.  Topher's obsession with replacing Chris as host, Rodney's random bouts of feelings for any girl that touched him, Scarlet's arc from being awkward genius to super villain and Ella as Snow White was just fantastic.  All of these were so much fun to watch.  I just wish the show had more of these and less of Sky and Dave...ugh...the most toxic couple in this series...which has LOTS of toxic couples...

4. Total Drama Action 

Season Two of the show was...not as tightly written as the First or Third season.  There are several moments where this show basically abruptly ends arcs and starts them back up again.  For example, the first seven episodes are one arc that covers the relationship between Trent and Gwen, ending in a rough breakup.  The second arc was a few episodes long and covered all of the episodes of the aftermath, which included the poorly constructed teams they made and how leadership struggles grow between Duncan and the rest of the Gaffers and Lindsay, Justin and Izzy for the Grips.  The third arc, the longest, covers Courtney's return and her tenuous relationship with the rest of the cast, especially Duncan.  The whole "Drama" part of the show seemed a bit stale after how interesting TDI's ended up, but that's not where this show's strengths were.  

That is in the comedy and obscene challenges the show covers.  They embark on challenges from various Movie Genres and while some of the challenges are boring or not that interesting, they always do something funny during it that's at the very least mildly entertaining.  The characters vary in how much I like them.  This is when Gwen started to grate on my nerves and I basically detest any scene Justin is in.  This is also when I realized just how amazing Lindsay's character is and the tension between Duncan and Courtney is always a sight to behold.  Izzy's pretend personalities do get a bit old after a while, as does Beth's flip flopping between being a nerdy girl no one would talk to then gushing about a "boyfriend" she has (which oddly enough ends up being true).  The best part of this show is basically how half the cast carries the show (Duncan, Courtney, Lindsay, Leshawna, Harold, Owen, Heather, etc.)  Not the worst season, but not the best either.  Basically mid...

3. The Ridonculous Race 

This random spinoff of both Total Drama and "The Amazing Race" was a breath of fresh air for a franchise that was definitely running on fumes.  I think this one worked best because it didn't have to focus entirely on teenagers.  Basically, take Total Drama World Tour and instead of focusing on music, just focus on challenges to embark on a race around the world.  Eighteen Teams (The LARPers, the Tennis Rivals, the Geniuses, the Vegans, Mother and Daughter, the Fashion Bloggers, the Adversity Twins, the Rockers, the Stepbrothers, Father and Son, The Reality TV Pros, the Goths, the Surfers, the Daters/Haters, the Best Friends, the Sisters, the Police Cadets and the Ice Dancers) all compete in various challenges and race around the world for a million dollars.  

What drives this show is the relationships between the teams.  While some are static and others are a bit too predictable (Father and Son plot is basically A Goofy Movie and poor Leonard got no more luck here than in Pahkitew Island) but the other groups have such good chemistry that it carries this show to heights it had no reason being in.  The Best Friends have a cliche relationship (one sided affection that turns to love) but they have such a great dynamic that it's actually rewarding to see them get through this.  I also enjoy the Hater/Dater dynamic.  A toxic relationship that explodes in both directions (negative and positive) that ends up being both heartfelt and comedic simultaneously.  The best dynamics are actually between four different teams.  The main rivalries (The Police Cadets vs the Ice Dancers) are about as interesting as Total Drama has ever reached in terms of rivalries, certainly better than anything Pahkitew Island or anything besides the OG series and World Tour had.  And the relationship that grows between Noah and Emma is just so wholesome and sweet.  Both care strongly about each other, go through good and bad emotions and yet do everything they can for the sake of the other person.  It's sweet to see Noah go from being just a snarky know it all and into a more dynamic character.  Just a solid show overall that really had no reason being this good.  

2. Total Drama Island 

Total Drama Island just fascinates me to such a degree.  I will never understand just how this show ended up being such an important part of my youth.  This was the last cartoon I religiously watched before reaching my teenage years and moving on to Anime.  And I will never look back.  It has basically every teenage cliche you can get rolled into one show, but many of the characters (not all of them) develop lives of their own.  Whether it be the Bad Boy with the heart of gold in Duncan, the goody goody girl gone rogue in Courtney, the Regina George character in Heather, the Disney Princess/wannabe goth in Gwen or even the more bonkers characters like Izzy or Owen.  This show's charm is from it's uniqueness.  There is no other show like it (save for the multitude of spinoffs) and I am glad this and Avatar the Last Airbender were the last cartoons I watched until the renaissance in the mid 2010s.  

The best aspect of the show is kinda hard to explain.  I guess you could say how unpredictably predictable it was, if that makes sense.  I mean, we all know they will keep Heather in the competition as long as they need her to be in (basically the Final Three).  We all know Gwen and Trent will get together, that Duncan won't be able to maintain his fully punk facade for too long and other things.  But the journey we take to getting these characters to their destination makes it so engaging.  Heather's defeat is so cathartic, as is the final showdown between Gwen and Owen and the show even manages a few surprises (Harold and Leshawna's relationship always shocks me even though I know its coming).  To put it bluntly, this show soared to heights no Teletoon show had before, at least here in the states.  

1. Total Drama World Tour 

Take all of the good things in Total Drama Island, replace the island with a military plane that goes around the world and add in some surprisingly well written songs and you get the single greatest thing to ever come out of the Total Drama franchise.  I mean, wow.  I forgot just how amazing this show was.  Even at it's lowest points (Blainely being involved at all was just dumb as was the over reliance on the DJ cursed subplot) this show is a subversive masterpiece.  The music is surprisingly strong.  I can only think of one or two songs that didn't work and they only last about 30 seconds or so.  But there are so many banger songs that they carry this show almost as well as the writing does.  

And the writing is superb.  Whether it be Cody the creeper getting his own stalker after being weirdly obsessed with Gwen, the love triangle between Duncan, Gwen and Courtney, or especially the intense love/hate relationship between Heather and Alejandro, the characters and writing are top notch.  Alejandro even supercedes Heather's cruelty in Season 1 with all of his seduction, deception and betrayals.  I think the only characters eliminated without his input are Ezekiel and Sierra.  Everyone else is booted out with his consent or because of his scheming.  And his only true rival in the game is Heather herself, which makes rooting for a monster like her to win just because he's even worse all the more interesting.  Easily the best Toral Drama show out there and it;'s not even close.  

BTW, the best song in the show is clearly "We Built Gwen's Face", the perfect parody of an ABBA song on top of being both well written and useful to the plot of the show.