Film Review #65: Tarzan II

Even the great comedic god and guru of life George Carlin couldn't save this stinker.  And while some can argue the existence of all of these putrid Disney Sequels, I have never witnessed a sequel that added absolutely nothing to the original story in any way whatsoever.  At least Mulan 2 added some depth to some of the characters, even if it was minimal.  But this?

Plot: Put somewhere during the events that take place after the elephant stampede and before he grows up, Tarzan continues to be ridiculed by everyone in the Ape Family for not being as fast or as strong as they are (gee, that sounds familiar), prompting Tarzan to run away from home and comes across two thug gorillas and their old mother.  After hearing about a mysterious creature lurking in the jungle called a Zugor, Tarzan encounters the creature (Carlin) claiming to be the Zugor.

The two set out to discover exactly what kinds of animals they are, as the two of them are outcasts for the most part, all while the thug monkeys and Tarzan's friends seek to find the duo.

What's Bad?: The film does not add or subtract anything from the original film.  In essence, it is a highly forgettable film.  Tarzan has no engaging qualities, and Carlin has his hands tied trying to be both a crotchety old man and a comic relief character, while keeping to the G Rated rules Disney has (Eddie Murphy and Gilbert Gottfried also had this problem).

And just like the Phil Collins songs in both Brother Bear and the original Tarzan, none are really memorable in any regards.

What's Good?: Unlike the last few sequels I've reviewed, this film didn't exactly butt-rape the original film in any way, other than adding absolutely nothing to anything.  It's a pointless time filler, but it could be worse: it could be Little Mermaid: Ariels Beginning.

Overall: I think I've made my case for the mediocrity in this film.  Nothing too terrible about it, but nothing halfway decent about the new things in it.  The only silver lining to this film is that the next few sequels don't suck in the same way that these terds did.  And one in particular, exceeded my expectations of both the film itself, and the original.  But we'll get there soon.

Final Grade:  C-